Supermish

Did you ever feel like crying for no reason at all? Yea. It happened to me just this morning. I just came to realized how far we have reached from day 1 we said yes to this lifetime relationship. I guess it’s normal for people to get scared at times, especially if you’re this happy, to lose this one beautiful thing. But of course, above those fears, there’s faith — in God, in him, in myself, in us. Faith that tells me and assures me that though life may not be perfect and well at all times, as long as God is in control and that we are both committed on the same thing, we can surpass whatever.

103 days that we have been together. Seems like yesterday but the love I have for him makes me feel that I have been loving him my entire life. I am super grateful that I opened my heart, despite the fear of being left out again. I am happy that I took the courage to face the world with him, to walk this walk of faith with him. I am happy to let him help me be back on track, find myself in the process and love God all the more.

I love this kind of relationship I have with him — the kind of relationship where there’s security. I was born and raised with a lot of insecurities — with the way I am. I tend to compare myself from others — in all aspects. God knows that. God knows how I feel about myself (even if I tend to show to people I’m confident and everything, I really am not). And so he gave me a man who would tell me how beautiful I am even without my make-up on, even after waking up in the morning with my hair undone, face so oily, just me and my messy self. It gives me security. Just by looking in his eyes when he tells me those words, makes me feel how sincere he is — that in his eyes, I really am beautiful. I feel at peace. I feel secured — that God had finally gave me a man who would be contented on just having me, no matter how I look, no matter what I become. 

Overflowing happiness really gives you happy tears. It truly gives you one happy heart. :)

Thank You Lord. You are the best author of love stories! 

Nag-fefeeling emo ako today. Kasi naman itong kanta na pinapatugtog ng officemate ko since kanina.

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Bale nung Monday, pumunta si ex sa bahay habang nandun din si Dreen. Kung tatanungin mo ako kung anong naramdaman ko nung araw nay un, hmm, masaya. Oo. Masaya. Kasi it means, okay na din sa part niya. Ako kasi masayang-masaya na at kaya ko na din harapin ang lahat, maging ang mga taong naging parte ng buhay namin pareho. And that day, when he took the courage to face my family after all the things happened only proves na he’s over everything, and it gives my heart a smile.

Ang saya lumakad sa kasalukuyan papunta sa hinaharap ng wala ka nang agam-agam na naiiwan sa nakaraan. Ang saya sa pakiramdam na sa kabila ng lahat ng sakit, poot at galit, pareho na kayong masaya sa kasalukyan nyo. Aaminin kong nandun pa din yung galit ko sa kanya, sa mga ginawa at sinabe niya sa akin, pero mas malaki ang lugar sa puso ko na maging masaya para sa kanya ngayong pinakita na niya sa lahat yung babaeng nagpapasaya sa kanya.

Masaya ako ngayon. Dahil na din siguro nung nakita ko siya, nagawa kong ngumiti sa kanya ng walang halong kaplastikan. Hindi naman kasi biro ang pinagdaanan at pinagsamahan namin. Kaya nakakatuwa na kahit papaano, nagawa ko pa ding i-let go yung galit ko sa kanya.

Siguro nga, dahil sa tunay akong masaya kay Mr. O at lalo na’t nakikilala ko ang tunay na katangian ni God recently kaya nagagawa ko ding magpatawad, maging masaya at makalimot. Ang gaan sa pakiramdam na ang dali i-let go lahat ng mga bagay dahil masaya ka, dahil punong-puno ka ng mga bagay na ipinasasalamat mo. Tunay nga, na a happy heart can give everything freely. Yung tipong kahit galit pa din sila sayo, basta ikaw sa sarili mo, napatawad mo na sila maging ang sarili mo. Yun naman talaga ang importante – yung mga bagay na ginagawa mo para sa ibang tao, may kapalit ka mang matanggap o wala.

Nagpapasalamat talaga ako na natutunan ko itong mga bagay na ito. Isipin mo na lang siguro ang isang taong punong-puno ng galit at inggit sa puso niya, kung saan siya patutungo. Nakakatakot isipin. Ang dami kasing pwedeng magbago sa tao kapag nagpadala siya sa mga bagay na ganito.

Just sharing the good feeling. Masaya maging masaya, kasi lahat ang gaan-gaan sa pakiramdam. Lahat ang dali-daling dalhin, kahit na gaano siya talaga kabigat.

Just remember who God is, what He has done, what He is capable of doing..you’re good to go.

God is calling you to be otherwise.

Patience is hard to execute especially at times when you happen to see something that really makes you mad or irritated. I am the perfect epitome of impatience. As soon as I read, saw, knew about a certain thing or issue about me, I would instantly react to it negatively. Recently, I have been praying for certain changes I want to have in my life – in my attitude. Patience is one of those. But I guess, the more you pray about it, the more life and the people around you will put you on to test. The more the enemy would work its way to you, to delay you on overcoming the things you want to let go of.

Despite of all the people around trying to ruin my day, I’m thankful that there are people who remind me of my goal, of my prayers. Last night, this special guy in my life asked me a favor to stop posting negative things here on Tumblr just as what I have requested on him about his tweets and rants on Twitter. This is to remind me that life is beautiful to waste on stressing yourself of something that doesn’t even worth your time. I guess, you can never really put a happy person down because he/she has so many things to cling on to when his/her world falls apart.

This morning, I received a message from a good friend, telling me ; “If ever it passes your mind to prove yourself to them, don’t bother.” And she quoted Proverbs 9:7-8 which says : “Anyone who rebukes a mocker will get an insult in return. Anyone who corrects the wicked will get hurt. So don’t bother correcting mockers; they will only hate you. But correct the wise, and they will love you.” And what struck me is when she said that what would set me apart from them is the way I would react to them: “Love” Repay love for hate because in the end, you will be the one at peace.

If I would do what they did, if I post something negative on my blog about him/her, what good does it do to me? It would just reflect the way I live, the way I behave. I remember a post I read somewhere to be cautious about what you blog, because what you blog will definitely have an impact on your personality and then would bounce back as to how your parents have raised you. Who would want his/her parents to be blamed just because of an awful attitude he/she is showing? Not me. I hope this helps. :)